My Medium Experience
Blogging my Medium experience
I’ve decided to share what is a very personal experience with all of you because I understand the curiosity about the spirit world and our connection to the other side. At one point or another, we’ve all wonder about our loved ones who’ve left us behind, ‘us’ being the living. Where did they go, are they watching, do they understand our journey? And after they’ve departed this earthly plane are they still on the journey with us? Do they keep walking along our life path – guiding us to fulfill our ultimate purpose…?
Since my session, I feel closer to understanding the answer to these questions, at least as they pertain to my own destiny and I think it’s important to share that experience with as many people possible. Connecting our consciousness to the energy of our dearly departed gives us a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves. Understanding the conduit that links us all to the divine matrix of life itself helps us evolve from being individuals, to just being, and finally to accepting the collaboration of oneness with the source – our ultimate destination.
I’m going to share this reading with you now “ mostly verbatim “ of what was said, but also I’m going to interject my own intuition and what came to me after the messages were received –a dissection of the session after the fact. I think taking time to reflect the messages shared is vitally important in making sure the translation was received as intended. The medium acts as a translator, but it’s up to you to decipher the meaning of the message being sent. For this purpose, our responses are going to be in italic and my reflective thoughts (after the session) will be bold and italicized. I think it’s important to understand that during these types of sessions you get kind of a “Hysterical Blindness” or more accurately, a “Hysterical mindlessness”. I couldn’t really form a coherent thought during the session because I was in such awe and shock of the process happening at the time. That’s why post-reflection is so important.
I’ll be honest, I was nervous in anticipation of our session. My daughter Alexa and I started deep breathing as we watched the clock counting down to the 2:00 pm start time and beads of sweat began forming in places I didn’t think they could form. The dark screen staring back at us finally flickered to life and then before any realization of it beginning, it began just like that. “Hello”, I heard the sweet voice calling to us from the other side of the screen. “Hi”, we both echoed in response.
Apryl Nicole was our spiritual messenger for our session – a psychic medium who connects the living to their departed loved ones through zoom calls from her home in Kauai, HI. She quickly prepared us for what to expect and then asked us to take a few deep breaths to raise our vibrational energy. Three people presented themselves to her on our behalf - almost instantaneously, like they had been waiting for the opportunity. The first to come forward was what I assumed was my grandmother Doris.
“First things first, I need to start on the mom’s side of the family. Is there is a mother figure for you here on the other side?”
“My grandmother”, I said quickly.
“Well she says she took on a motherly role for you, does that make sense?
“Yes”, I said feeling sure that my grandmother would see it that way.
“I love her personality, I love her personality… She’s got some sass to her that I really like. She’s got a very loving and nurturing energy to her, but not scared to protect her young. She’s very straight forward with her verbiage and says what it is on her mind. She’s not scared to say it like it is. Oh, she says she likes my hoops (points to her earrings), actually she says she likes big jewelry in particular. She said she needs to tell you that she’s very grateful for the relationship that she had with you because she knows it was very difficult for you to have the same type of relationship with your own mother, because there was like a disconnection there. She said she felt very lucky to be able to stand up and be like that motherly role for you, do you understand that?”
At this time I was only thinking of my grandmother Doris, but in reflection I realize the same message could have come from my God Mother, Marie.
“Now did your grandmother have a stroke? I keep like losing my speech with her. Did she start to develop a speech problem?”
“No, but my grandfather did, he died from a stroke.”
So at this point in the session, I’m a bit confused as to whether I’m talking with my grandmother or my God Mother. My God Mother Marie had died from a stroke as well and also played a motherly role in my life. In either case, grateful for the connection and grateful for the realization of pivotal role they both played in my upbringing. I’m quite sure both of them would have described my mother in the exact same way and both of them would have acknowledged the role they played to help mother both myself and my sister during our formative years. Commenting on my grandfather’s stroke helped my grandmother to bring him into our session.
“Oh, okay, that’s what’s happening to me, so your grandfather is also starting to step in.
Apryl pauses and laughs under her breath… “Oh she says, yes, I have to stand here with this grumpy old man.” Do you understand that your grandfather was very difficult and he had a resisting personality? Cuz she says, we had a lot of issues in our relationship when we were living. She wants you to know they made amends on the other side that they worked out their difference. She says she loves him unconditionally, but man was he hard to deal with when he was here. She shows him like this very strong presence, almost military like. Very hard to budge, or there were compromising issues there, but she says ultimately she knew she always wore the pants in the relationship.
Did somebody in your family have shingles? Cuz I keep getting very itchy with them…
“Not sure…”
Apryl looks back toward the spirits… “Wait what’s going on… Why am I getting so itchy with you guys? Okay, does someone in your family have skin problems like eczema?”
“Um, I know people on my grandmother’s side had some skin problems.
“Okay I keep getting patches of inflamed feelings behind my ears and my stomach, so if you see me itching a lot, that’s what’s happening to me. But your grandma is acknowledging that because she’s saying, “Alexa, Alexa gets the same problem when she’s stressed out.” Do you get them around your ears or earing holes?”
“Yeah.”
I have to say that I remembered that the night before our reading I was super itchy and I almost jumped into the shower in the middle of the night because I thought I might have had a bugs or fleas or something on me somewhere. I just kept itching and it kept me from falling asleep. I’m realizing now that my loved ones energy must have been with me already – I guess in anticipation for our next day’s session. After sharing this information with my mom, she did confirm that my grandmother had a bad case of shingles and eczema. Of course I was able to recall that after she reminded me of it.
“Okay, so that’s what she’s talking about. She says you’re getting the patches of eczema due to high stress, but she wants you to know that she’s always here to love and protect you , that you don’t have anything to worry about. You know she takes on that strong presence like a man does, like a masculine role and she says she’s ready for you to step into your power because she’s here for you to support you as you’re going through that. Because she realizes that it hasn’t been an easy task for you. Do you understand that?
“And it’s so funny because she’s bringing me to a post that I just did on Instagram yesterday - she’s reading me the exact words that I said there…”
“When you use the power of NO, you’re actually honoring your own YES. Okay, so she says by saying NO and exercising your words of NO you honoring yourself. Honor yourself; you don’t have to cater to everyone around you. Make sense? You need to set boundaries. “
“Alexa are you having problems in your relationship?”
“Well there was an uncomfortable conversation yesterday…”
“She says it’s okay to say NO, and you need to teach people how to treat you.”
Apryl switches gears now… “What, I’m sorry you do what with her cell phone? You’re constantly calling her. Oh, that’s funny… Alexa, “um are you noticing funny phone calls, like sometimes you get calls on your cell phone and no one’s there? Have you picked up one and nobody was on the line?”
“Um, I just usually don’t answer”, Alexa says in response.
“Okay, it would be interesting to know what happens the next time you answer and no one is on the line. Your grandmother’s like giggling about it, so just know that she does her version of crank calling you.”
Funny thing is, the next morning Alexa’s phone rang and no one was on the line – so “Hello Grandma.”
“She’s showing me an apple emoji, why is she showing me like a cartoon of an apple?
“Oh, Alexa exclaimed… That’s because we were just having a contest on our Ipads and we decided to just draw an apple for the contest.”
Yep, weirdly, just a couple of weeks ago, I got an Ipad as a gift from my husband for our anniversary and Alexa was showing me how to use this new artists software called, “Procreate”. So after giving me a few days to get acquainted with it, Alexa thought it would be fun to have a speed contest to see who could draw the best apple in 15 minutes. So she jumped into bed with me the other night and we just drew an apple. Seems like grandma was paying attention…
Apryl listened and then continued, “When you randomly hear songs or music in your head, that’s also your grandma. Apryl changed her thought process. And was your grandmother like a fan of the Beatles or something? Something about sunshine, there’s a Sunshine reference; I’m not sure what that is… Sunshine… Something about, oh did I misinterpret that. Okay, can you roll that back again…? Judy Garland music, do you understand a connection to Judy Garland?
“Yes, I said with certainty.”
Okay, she’s singing that song ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and she’s making references to really liking that frame of music. She says so just know that says when you hear that song or see the rainbows, know it’s her.
Okay, I’m going to just to note that the word “sunshine” did have significance for me. This is my nickname that my husband has for me and uses on all of our correspondence. Recently I combined Sunshine and Kathie to make a license plate SUNKAT and incorporated SunKat as the name to my children’s book company. So it was relevant to me, even though the message was misinterpreted.
“Sally… Wait okay… Why is she saying that, ‘She sells sea shells by the seashore’? Do you know why she would say that?”
“Yes, I said, my grandma was always sharing word challenges with me and my sister or different types of math puzzles…”
“That’s so funny because I kept tossing between ‘Sally sells sea shells’ and ‘Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled peppers’… Okay, she’s kind of like homeschool granny. I feel like she’s always there to educate people, whether it’s like life lessons or just feeding knowledge.”
At this point I wasn’t sure of the alliteration and my memory lapses were started to bother me, but I knew there was a connection there, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.; that’s why taking the time to re-evaluate a reading is so important. After the fact, I remembered that it was my God Mother Marie who would always share these types of alliterations with us and her favorite (but less well-known )verse was called “Maria Maraja.” ‘Maria Maraja fell on the faja, the faja was hot, she fell on the pot, the pot was cold, she fell in the hole and that was the end of Maria Maraja.’ So in hindsight, the connection to the Sally Seashore and Peter Piper was definitely Marie. So now I’m really confused as to who is communicating with us, Marie or my grandmother, or both – just taking turns.
Your grandma wants me to tell you that she’s very proud of how you two are maintaining your relationship between each other (meaning Alexa and I), but also making sure that you are keeping that balance between a masculine role and feminine role. She says you’re doing a good job. You’re doing a very good job. She says that for the both of you, both of you are doing good jobs here.”
“Okay, um… okay something about Alexa trying to get into something she’s looking for. Or trying to… Or finding, finding what? Or finding where she belongs. Alexa, do you understand that you are trying to find where you belong?”
“Yes”.
Especially going further like going into your career or life path. She says she wants you to hone in on that. The creative idea… She says the creative ideas, or developing creativity. Can you show me where grandma?
Apryl removes her hoop earings now.
Looking back at Alexa she says “Sorry, when you get stressed my ears hurt, so when we started talking about career stuff my ears starting catching fire.
“Okay Grandma says, photography… Do you have some passion that has to do with photography?”
“Yes, I just got signed as a model at an agency.”
“Oh, good for you, wonderful, so she’s super excited about this pursuit, and she says your gonna be doing both directions; in front of the camera and behind the camera as well. You may want to look into photography classes because you’ll have this amazing like versatile ability to be able to transform or create, okay. But she says, you better not let them change you. Okay, so you stick to who you are and what your belief systems are. And do not alter yourself to fit the system, allow the system to change to fit you.
Travel will be involved in this as well, so she says “Congratulations!”
“Oh wait.. Are you serious, because I think I need to hear this as well…
Apryl is looking back toward my grandmother’s spirit and pauses and laughs a bit.
“Wait”, Apryl adjusts her gaze. “Do you want me to tell her that? Oh, I like how she said this, she said… “You know the unfortunate part about this is, if you want to travel and work your gonna have to get a COVID vaccine.”
“Oh that’s hilarious”, I said looking toward Alexa. Alexa looked back at me and acknowledged – “that is funny.”
“Alexa, I guess you’ve been thinking about – should I do it or not... She’s pretty much saying, if you want to really pursue and travel with this career you gonna have to get the vaccine.”
“Thank you grandma!” I said turning to Alexa.
It’s so funny cuz she rolls her eyes while she’s saying it. Okay, Grandma, can I ask why you would have rolled your eyes about that? I don’t know if she ever cursed, cuz she just said, because the vaccine is kind of bullshit, but you r still gonna have to get it if you want to travel.
Now at this point I’m pretty certain that this really is a divine connection. I just got my first vaccination shot earlier in the week and Alexa and I had a discussion about her doubts on whether she should get hers. Grandma was doing me a solid and I was grateful for the message. Message received grandma, xoxo.”
Apryl continued without hesitation. “Okay grandma can you tell me like specifics about where Alexa might be going?”
“Oh that’s beautiful, Indonesia, Bali.. Okay. And when is that… 2024. Your career with the modeling will really start to hit its peak – like you’re doing really well. She references 2024 as high travel time when you’ll be doing some big excursions. Until then, she says national things…Going to the east coast, I keep seeing like the buildings of NY. Then you have one big excursion that will take you to London, England for work, but if things start to slow down, don’t be discouraged. Things are not fizzling out; it’s just another build up. But she sees things lying low until then. Are you trying to hint at something else... So it’s not something national? I mean we’re not doing this again are we?” Apryl makes a gesture to the mask on her table. “No, oh good, so it will just be a slower point in you modeling career so just keep hitting the pavement. I was like tell me it’s not another COVID thing or something, but she says no. But she says that’s the time you need to transform yourself and become the photographer during that point so you stay in the game, does that make sense? Alexa, do you see yourself moving to NY at some point?”
“I’ve always wanted to go visit, so maybe.”
“Okay keep in mind that I said this because I actually see you spending way more time in NY like Manhattan area, because I really feel like when it comes to your modeling career I believe it will be more East Coast based even though you will have West Coast stuff I want to say like it’s more high fashion which I feel is more East Coast based than West coast.
“Um, your grandmother says NO on the acting, so I don’t know if you’ve thought about doing anything with acting?”
“That’s so funny, so funny.”
“She says don’t focus on the acting, most of your business will be modeling camera style, okay.”
She’s showing me a music video. Looks like the singer Michelle Branch; seems like you will be in the video. Not a speaking part, just in the video.
Alexa and I both knew exactly what that meant. A couple of nights earlier Alexa had to do an audition for a commercial where she had to speak, and it was really hard for her and she said, “Mom I’m not an actress.” Looks like grandma was confirming that acting was not the talent she should be focusing on.
At this point another spirit joined the session and it was a cousin of a friend who past away from a drug overdose, I’m not going to go into that portion of the session because we were just the conduits of the message to deliver it to another family.
“Does the month of May have special meaning; birthday, anniversary or death of a relative?”
“Yes, I said, my dad’s birthday is in May.”
“Is your father on the other side or is he still here?”
“Yeah, her father is”, Alexa answered on my behalf.
“Ahh… Okay thank you. Apryl looks towards my dad’s spirit. “What are you doing, what’s wrong with your pants? What are you trying to show me? Your pants don’t fit, how come your pants don’t fit? Why is he so goofy? Is your dad the goofy type?
“Possibly, he died when I was young, so I of course thought of him in that way…”
Do you remember like his pants never fitting him correctly, or that they were always falling off?
“Well, he was thin, and he did wear a belt to keep them up…”
“He just keeps showing me oversized pants, like they are falling off of him all of the time. So hold on one second here… Can you show me that one more time sweetheart? Come on over here - come say hi to your daughter. He’s hanging his head low. Wait, why are you doing that? Let’s lift your head up honey. Do you understand that his passing was quick and unexpected?
“Yes, I answered.
“But he says he’s kind of at fault for that though. Do you understand that, cuz he’s like he keeps hanging his head low like it was his fault that he passed and it was quick and unexpected?”
She shifted her attention back to my father.
“Actually what did you do sweetheart? What happened here? He says I was being irresponsible with my life, um but he won’t tell me how he passed.”
Apryl changed her gaze back to my direction, how did your father pass, I’m sorry…
“Motorcycle accident.”
“Ahhh, okay. He just keeps saying it was my fault. It was my fault. Swerving off… okay hold on.
Apryl peered off in his direction and it looked like she was watching a scene in the distance.
“Taking a turn too fast… Okay do you understand he was driving too fast on his motorcycle and like he says he took a turn too fast, do you understand that?
“I know he was on a windy road and the actual of what happened is still kind of unknown.”
“He keeps showing me like taking turn to quickly and he keeps showing me like another oncoming car like happening…”
Apryl is using her hands now to motion the collision between my father and the oncoming vehicle.
“And he says I got reckless when I was driving because I took this road all the time. He says I thought I knew this road really well, but I took that corner way too fast and I didn’t see the other car coming around that corner and they hit me. Okay, but he also says that he tried do a like a quick swerve and it just, and he tried to correct himself and it just didn’t happen. But he says it’s not the other persons fault at all, I was going too fast and taking that corner too quickly and they didn’t even see me coming. “
Apryl shifts her vision back to my father again.
“I’m sorry, what did you say sweetheart? I know so fast, so fast.”
“Can you show me that again?” The road was wet as well.”
Looking back at me now, Apryl continued.
“Do you understand it was like it was a wet road or it had just finished raining or something like that?”
“I’m not sure, I said. I know it was spring time like April or May, so it’s possible it had rained the night before.”
“Hmm… Can you tell me that one more time honey?” She’s addressing my father again.
Okay do you understand that your mother and father were not getting along at the time?
“Yes.”
“I keep asking him is there a reason why you are hanging your head so low and he said it was because her mom and I were not getting along at the time and I really wasn’t’ stepping up to the plate, to like make amends in that and he’s saying, you know I left her so abrasively and I can see the damage that it really caused because of my inability to apologize. And he says that he takes ownership of that. That he’s sorry for the arguments that were caused in that relationship because ultimately he says he was being stubborn and didn’t know how to reconcile his differences and he says that he wants to apologize for that… Especially to your mom because he sees how that all hardened her heart and the trust issues that have been built in her life and he says that he’s sorry that you had to deal with the repercussions of that, you know. And um, he says your mom... I take ownership of how difficult that she became in her life because of the tragedy that she experienced. He says the tragedy that she experienced didn’t happen just prior to his passing, but his passing amplified that. And so he says that he’s sorry for that.”
“Oh and the birthdays… He says thanks for always celebrating my birthday and for keeping my memory alive and he says my relationship is always still with you… He says we never stopped having that.”
Apryl makes a funny face and looks back in my dad’s direction.
“Why are you in a clown suit right now? What are you doing?
She’s focused back on me now.
“Do you remember having a birthday where you actually had a clown?”
“Maybe, I mean I remember there being clowns at the time frame in my life… because I was part of a dance studio and we did a whole clown thing where we threw pies at each other.”
Listening back to the session really helped me to uncover somethings that weren’t that clear to me at the time. It’s obvious now that my dad had felt some shame about what happened (hanging his head down). He came with oversized pants to show that he never filled his pants as a father or a husband during his life. That he was never really the man he should have been. This is the reason he also turned himself into a clown. Again, it’s important to understand that coming through is very difficult for our loved ones and they don’t waste their messages. The clown was his way of representing that he was a fool, that his actions were foolish and reckless and immature. This was very clear to me during the mediation the followed our session.
“Oh, okay. Wait bear with me here… I wrote A+ three times… Let me see here…”
Apryl pauses and tries to understand what’s being conveyed.
“Oh, I think I understand that she finally says.”
“Do you remember always getting good grades and always following through with your academics?”
“Well my sister was a straight A student”, I answered quickly.
“Hmm okay, so bear with me here...”
Apryl continued to struggle a bit trying to understand the message.
“Okay, he’s showing me like he’s been watching your entire childhood.”
I did some meditation on this section here because in hindsight I didn’t think that the (3) A+ notes were directed to my sister. Primarily because after I mentioned my sister he didn’t acknowledge her. So using my own intuition I came to realize that what my dad was trying to convey to me was that he was proud of me. I mean it’s what any child really wants to hear from their parent. And he was using the A+ symbol as a way of saying “good job.” I believe there were (3) A’s to represent the Past, Present and Future. After all, this is his only chance to communicate how he feels about me and he needed to cover all of it. So he was giving me the thumbs up for what I did in the past, what I’m doing in the present and what I will be doing in the future. I’m pretty confident in this reassessment as it came clearly to me during my post-reflection mediation.
“Did you ever wear double socks?” I don’t know why I want to ask you that, but he wants me to acknowledge double socks?”
“Hmm… well my feet are always cold, so I guess I do double up my socks sometimes, but I don’t really know.”
“I don’t know but he just keep saying doubling up on her socks, so just know that your dad’s like always watching what you’re doing?’
Apryl had asked me a couple of times about “Double Socks”. She kept saying that my dad sees me doubling up on the socks. At the time, I just thought it was because my feet are always cold and sometimes I double up my socks (brain malfunction). But after meditating on this, it became to me very clearly that it was my dad’s way of referencing that he sees what I have to do to take care of my mother now. That he understands that his actions played a role in why my mom is still suffering today from all the after effects of the accident he caused. If I’d followed the breadcrumbs I would have realized that it wasn’t a random statement, he made the statement after apologizing for leaving me to pick up the mess he’s left after he died. This was a direct reference to the caregiving both my sister and I did at a young age and still continue to do for my mother as her past injuries have left her unable to do things like putting on her own socks. More specifically, every day since her recent fall, I’ve had to put on her compression hose (difficult task) and then place her non-slips socks over them. This has become a running joke between me and Papa Tom – basically on who gets to do the honors. This was just my dad’s way of saying “I see that - and thank you”.
“He wants me to let you that from childhood until now, he sees all these things happening.. Okay and why does he talk about some kind of heater going out, or furnace going out?”
“Oh my God, Oh my God okay…So I believe he’s been communicating with me through the ticking in the furnace since I was little… He ticks the wall.”
“Perfect, so just know he’s like – oh he calls it not a ticking he calls it a clicking, um it’s almost like it’s going to click over but it doesn’t turn on, do you understand?
“Yep.”
“Okay, so it’s almost you know like wall heaters and at the bottom you’ve got to turn it and it makes that click-click, like the ignition, like when it ignites. He says he makes the sound, he makes those sounds. And he also says the sounds of like coins dropping, so I have to acknowledge that as well, so keep in mind I said that.”
Apryl looks back toward my dad’s spirit again.
“Wait, what? Who found some feathers? Oh, that’s so cliché; um can you tell me where the feathers are found? Okay, by the back window, no back door, no window… Hmmm, you have a sliding glass door is that correct?
“At my mother’s house.”
“Okay and do you remember finding a feather right outside that sliding glass door.”
“An owl feather, a large owl feather, yeah.”
“Perfect, so just know that’s from your father, he says – just for you. Ah, it’s funny he says – Not for your mom, sorry, just for you.”
Apryl giggles a bit after sharing this message with me, because she realizes how it sounds.
“Okay, now what? I’m sorry… There’s um a pillow and it has a hole in it.
“Yes (I chuckled), I know what he’s talking about.”
Apryl wants to know now, “Okay what’s the pillow with the hole in it?”
“It’s a neck pillow and I put it on my face so I can breathe through the hole when I sleep, yeah.”
Apryl laughs. “Interesting…”
“Yeah, that’s how I sleep.”
“That’s so funny. Okay. He’s like giggling about that. Also what? You changed that so fast that I don’t understand that…” Something about a plaid blanket? Plaid blanket or a plaid sash. Oh, this is odd. Um hold on.. Oh, it’s a scarf. Do you have a plaid scarf?
“Umm not plaid, I wouldn’t say it’s plaid.”
“Bear with me he’s giggling about that so it’s something funny that happened. Do you remember wearing a scarf and when you got out of the car you closed the car door and it got stuck in there and then you kind of got tethered back?
“Oh, yeah that’s happened a couple of times.”
“He just giggling about this because he sees this kind of things happening and he just thinks it’s funny. He’s just like constantly watching over you and watching these funny moments happen and even the parts where you’re sleeping with a hole in a pillow. He thinks it’s like the goofiest thing ever.”
We all laugh now together.
“Show me that one more time. You do what in Alexa’s room? You mess with the color light… The color light.
“I do have a color light”, Alexa responds.
“He says he messes with your color light just to say hello and it will kind of like dim down and then bring it back up. Do you understand that? He says he just changes it and that’s his way of coming through to say hello to you.”
Apryl stops and looks directly at us again , “Okay ladies, let’s do this… Do you have any particular questions you would like to ask, you can ask anything you like?
“Hmm, I don’t know what to ask now, I’m nervous.”
“Okay wait…” Apryl jumps back in. “Do you hear like walking down your hallway?”
“Yes.”
“Okay that’s your dad he says he walks down, it’s almost like he’s wearing like motorcycle boots and their heavy.”
“Yes, and he sloshes around in them and I’ve written about this, yes.”
“Perfect, okay so he says that’s him, he says he’s guarding the house.”
“Ahem, yes, outside behind the window.”
“Who has the cat?”
“I do.”
“Okay because he says the cat sees him and will like watch and all of a sudden you will see the cat head like turning, he says, he just sees me and he’s like – good kitty and waves.”
“That’s cute.”
So I knew instantly why he was sharing that message. I had recently written a new scene in my book where he’s walking outside the window sloshing around in the mud with his boots. It was literally a scene right out of my book that happens to be in large part about him. See a condensed passage from this chapter in my book the ‘Tick Tick Girl’ below as a reference.
Tick tick tick. The roar of the heater started up again. Was he here? "Go away; I'm not ready to see you." I waited for the ticking sound to subside and squeezed my eyes shut tight. The sound of footsteps traveling down the hallway grew closer until they reached the outside of my door. His endless pacing back and forth with no way to pave a new path, no way to extend past the barrier between us, no way to pick me up in his arms again and call me “daddy’s little girl”, haunted me till dawn. Sleep was not a possibility when all I could do was envision him looking up past the window sill and peeking in on us, knowing he was helpless to reenter our world again. . I often wondered why my sister couldn’t hear him. Why she wasn’t aware that he was stationed just outside our window each night, and why she wasn’t waiting beneath the covers with me for a chance to get a glimpse of him… (jumping to the end of the chapter)… And just like clockwork, every morning at 3 am, when my mom would stop whimpering, the sloshing of boots would begin again.
“What, Harry Potter? Who’s the bid Harry Potter fan?”
Alexa jumped in, “me.”
He says Dementors aren’t real. That’s interesting. Dementors aren’t real, what do you mean by that? Oh yeah, well I totally agree with that philosophy. He says just an FYI; lower vibrational spirits like demons don’t exist. So he wants to make that clear, so I’m not sure if there have been conversations about that, but he says they’re not real and they don’t exist, so thank you for sharing that.”
Wow, I just thought - wow. About a week prior to our session, Alexa wanted me to get an idea of what Apryl was like and she tuned us into one of her live readings. In this particular session, she happened to respond to a chat feed asking if she thought demons were real. Apryl made it clear to her listener that she felt strongly they were NOT real. After listening to the session, I said I really liked her, but that I may have to disagree with her about the demons. I used the Yin/Yang theory. If there is light there is dark, if there is good there is bad, if there are angels there are demons... So basically my dad was ‘calling me out’ in front of Apryl and setting the record straight – thanks dad.
I just want to interject here that I also didn’t see the pattern of how my loved ones from the other side were setting up their communications. When we first started, I thought their comments/questions were random, but as it progressed, I realized they were actually very linear; progressing from one thought to the next like a pathway. This next part of the session I think illustrates this very well. Follow the breadcrumbs.
Apryl changed direction and tone, “Pay attention to the eleven- eleven.”
“Yes, Alexa and I both said in unison. The number 11 always had significant meaning because Alexa’s birthday is on (01-11-01) but also because she would always see 11:11 on the clock on her phone, in the car, in the kitchen, so naturally, we both said, “ah, ha!” (bread crumb #1).
Apryl made a face like she was trying to make out what was coming next. “Howie, howdy - oh, Howdy from Toy Story. Why are you showing me that, she asked addressing my dad still. Okay it’s a Disney reference.
“Um, There’s been talks about doing it and it got cancelled.” (bread crumb #2).
Looking back at us now, “Have you guys been talking about taking a trip to Disney but then COVID hit and it got cancelled?”
“No, not to Disney.”
“Or, is it here? She looks back in my father’s direction, are you talking about here? He says, here, but not here… What do you mean by that? Hmm… Maui? Okay were you guys planning on doing a Hawaii trip and then had to cancel it?” (bread crumb #3)
“No.”
“Okay that’s odd cuz he then showed me Disney Alani, which I thought was in Maui, but maybe it’s Ohau. Okay let me find this, bear with me here. In fact your grandmother is popping back up to help. (bread crumb #4).
Apryl makes a weird face, “You’re really working through Disney now. Looking back in our direction, um and then she showed me Beauty and the Beast Mrs. Potts. So, where are we going with this? Oh, was there a tea cup or a tea set handed down from you grandmother? (bread crumb #5)
“Not that I know of, but I guess it’s possible.”
Apryl nods toward my grandmother in understanding and looks back at us, “Okay, I got it, whose practicing Divinations?” (Bingo)
“I am” I responded finally understanding what was going on.
“You are, okay, that’s where we are going with this. Okay, ugh, I was like why do you keep showing me all these tea references and the lady from Harry Potter who does tea leaf readings.”
“Yes that’s correct, that’s me.”
“Okay, great, that’s what it is. Sorry, I was like getting really lost in that message.”
“Okay she says to me you are to expand that even further. She looks back to my grandma, “Okay, how so? Sounds and meditations. She says keep going. Apryl picks up her hands and pushes them toward me, “She says keep pushing, like keep going, keep going.
Apryl, listens to my grandma again, “I like that.”
Looking back toward me know, “Do you want to teach workshops?”
“Yes, I do have a group, called the OWLS group, Offering women loving support, yeah.”
“Okay cuz she keeps showing me like different styles of divination like tea leaf readings, and even like pendulum stuff, crystal work. Apryl hesitates to concentrate… “Crystal what? She needs to get into what? Crystal gridding work , crystal gridding work, okay. I don’t know anything about that stuff I’m still fresh into that myself, but she’s like talking about learning crystal gridding. Awesome! She pauses again. And do what? “
“That’s so funny; she’s like GET YOUR ASS to Hawaii!”
“She wants me to come meet you.”
“I’m all for that, in fact were actually opening soon so I’m excited about that because that means I can actually do my retreat. So who knows, maybe you’ll be out here for a retreat. I have no idea, but I’d love to have you.”
“And what?... Why do you keep going back to Disney? I see that, Apryl nods, okay. That’s so weird that’s she’s giving it to me through Disney stuff. Do you also do like coffee ground readings?
“I don’t do coffee ground readings… I do deliver coffee to my mother everyday (I chuckle), but no I don’t do coffee ground readings.
“Okay, I feel like you’re really going to pave your own way when you start doing coffee ground readings and tea leaf readings. It’s such a rarity right now, but I feel that there’s going to be some draw of popularity that comes with it and you really learn to hone into your craft. Apryl looks back to my grandma, “And how is she doing that again, can you show that to me one more time? Alchemy water, hmmm, do you do anything with alchemy water?”
“Yes, actually I have a spray that I created called Sacred Moon Spray using moon water energy and different types of essential oils.”
“Awesome, okay, I’m going to give you some tips that I do to… I used to do tea leaf readings a long time ago just for fun and I’d have my girlfriends over and we’d do it. I used to collect rain water and leave it out under a full moon and then boil it for the tea leaf readings.”
“Ah, okay.”
“So I’m going to give you that little tidbit.”
“Oh, she also says don’t forget to leave coins by your door. I don’t know why I need to tell you that… For what? For abundance, duh. She’s like duh (chuckles). “So for abundance, leave the coins by the door for abundance.”
Being patient in this process really pays off. It was at this moment I’d finally connected all the breadcrumbs my grandmother and dad had been leaving out for me. Their entire message that started with Disney and ended with tea leaves was to bring me full circle to understanding my path was to move more toward divination work.
Bread crumb #1: The 1111 is the Angel Messenger symbol for communication with the divine. “Pay attention” they said.
Bread crumb #2: “Doing it and it got cancelled”. The OWLS group started up again and then I had to stop it because of COVID.
Bread crumb #3: “Here, but not here”. This was my dad’s way of trying to connect what Apryl does for a living with what I’m doing back home in Fairfield with my OWLS group.
Bread crumb #4: Disney Alani. Okay first of all the entire Disney theme was to get Apryl to connect to magic. But the Disney Alani was specifically brought to her attention because the word Alani means ‘Chief Messenger / Divine Messenger). Again trying to bring her to the word Divination.
Bread crumb #5: Although I don’t actually do tea leaf readings (at least not yet), this was my grandmother’s way of trying to get Apryl to understand the Divination work.
I’m not sure how Apryl finally got the Divination message, but eventually they made their point and then it became very clear to both her and me what was happening.
There is also a synchronicity to their message. The symbol 1111 is actually the number that represents all angels. The first OWLS meeting we had was on the ‘Angelic Realms’.
The next OWLS group meeting we are scheduled to have is on…Sacred Geometry. The crystal gridding has a direct connection to Sacred Geometry. So they are closely following along with the OWLS group agenda.
The alchemy water – Sacred Moon Spray that I developed has been used for connection to the Akashic Records (source of knowledge) and this spray was instrumental in getting our group back together again.
The OWL feather was a breadcrumb to the group I had created. Since an actual OWL landed in my mom’s backyard with a broken wing, my dad wanted to make sure I knew the OWL message was intended for me, not my mom’s injury. It was a nudge for me to continue my work with the group. The confusion that Apryl had about starting something, but it got canceled was not in reference to a trip. That was her interpretation because of the Disney reference. However, it was really in reference to my starting and then stopping the OWLS group meetings do to COVID. Of course this all became very apparent watching the tape back after our session ended.
“Okay ladies do you have a questions for me, I’m sorry I interrupted you last time I asked that.”
I jumped in, “Um, I was wondering if there is a connection to a dragonfly with my father?”
Apryl shakes her head, “That’s so weird I just heard three different names in that (she’s intruppted by a spirit). “So bizarre. Do you know the name Thomas? Who’s Thomas?
“My mom’s husband, her current husband.”
“That’s your mom’s husband and he’s still with you?”
“Yeah, he’s still here.”
“Okay, and do you also know the name Jonathan?”
“John, we know John.”
“Who’s John?”
“That’s my sister’s husband.”
“Wow, why is he running through the husbands right now?”
Apryl tries to get my dad back on track again… “Who’s the dragonfly connected to, is that connected to you?”
“He said, partially, but not entirely. Is it a dual connection, who else sends the dragonflies? You send which ones? The blue ones. Okay, your dad says he sends the blue ones in particular, and who sends the red ones, cuz you just showed me the red one, who sends the red one… Grams. Okay, Grams sends the red ones, or like the fiery orange ones. So both of them do…”
“And then why did you bring up Thomas? Is there something that we need to acknowledge with Thomas? He needs to take care of himself, yeah, he’s not being responsible with his health and grandma says that he needs to start taking better care of himself.
“And then what’s wrong with John?”
I’m going to omit this part because it’s personal to someone else and it’s not for me to share here.
“Alexa do you have a necklace from your grandmother, or who has grandma’s necklace?”
“I think my mom has all her jewelry.”
“Do you know if there is a necklace that like has a single pearl on it?
“It’s possible my mom has that necklace.”
“Okay, there’s something about handing that down, so I have to acknowledge that, okay. She says the black pearl. Interesting… The black pearl. That was very like Pirates of the Caribbean. Okay, what do you mean by that? She smiles and addresses my grandmother again. Ah, oh I see that’s kind of funny… So Alexa you don’t really wear a lot of jewelry, I mean I see that you have like a single necklace on, but Grandma says, um unless it’s unique and different, Alexa doesn’t really wear it and so it’s got to be the black pearl.”
This may be one of the most surprising revelations that came out of our session. I called my sister to ask if she knew anything about a black pearl necklace that my grandmother might have had… She was unsure and thought maybe it might have been Marie’s necklace, but she wasn’t aware of it. So when Alexa and I went to share the session with my mom, of course we asked her and she said, “I have it.” Your uncle Jimmy gave it to me after your grandmother died and I have it. Let me go get it for you.” So the mystery was solved. My mother knew about the necklace and in fact gave it to Alexa right away. I can’t tell you how amazing it felt to know that Alexa’s great grandmother who she never met in life was bestowing this beautiful give to her. We looked up the meaning of the black pearl and it could have been a more perfect gesture…
Black pearls are often associated with everlasting love and therefore are an ideal symbolic gift to a loved one.
Apryl starts rubbing her eye… “Okay, that one?” She points to her right eye. “She wants to point out your right eye. Have you been having an issue with your right eye?”
“My vision has been getting worse and I’ve noticed it, but I haven’t gone to the eye doctor yet, but I’ve noticed even with my glasses on that my visions getting worse.”
“She says to pay attention to the right eye in particular, I mean it’s nothing serious that we need to worry about, but it needs to have some sort of revision or correction done. And I feel like you might even be moving into contacts. And one prescription is totally different than the other.”
“Yep, they are.”
“But we need to have that right eye looked at again. It’s really tired; it’s really weak and tired.
“Yeah, I think she has a little bit of a lazy eye on that side, which I just pointed out to her the other day.”
Alexa agreed, “Yeah, she did say that.”
“I think it’s because it’s over strained I don’t feel that it’s necessarily a lazy eye, I think it’s really just tired. It’s over worked, so I think if we corrected the eye part the muscle will loosen up and, yeah, I think it’s like the eye’s vision is being overworked and so the muscle is tired. Does that make sense? So it’s the vision part that is the problem.”
“Yep.”
“Gosh she really just keeps going (talking about my grandma). So I’m going to keep going until she stops going, or at least until my next appointment.
“Tell her… Okay mom, have you been getting like 3rd eye headaches?”
“Yeah, I’ve been having weird head pain and it’s keeping me awake.”
“Yeah, your pineal gland is decalcifying. So one of the things that I like to do is help that process a bit is I do apple cider vinegar shots or gummy or pills. That will help to kind of speed up that process to prevent tension headaches. And if it starts to get really really bad and I don’t think you get to the stage at all, but in the case that it does… “It won’t” – grandma is saying that it won’t. But she says Botox helps, which is true, that’s what I do to help with my 3rd eye headache, but usually when I get them it’s because I’m over working myself too. So it could be one or the other, your decalcifying or you’re over working. But I feel in this instance I actually feel that you’re decalcifying.”
“Okay, are we good? Your grandma says “that’s it.” Okay, she is starting to step back from me now. Okay is there anything that I missed at all that we need to worry about? Okay, I’ll tell her.
“Grandmother says don’t get any more tattoos honey. “
I couldn’t resist jumping in here… “See, stop with the tattoos Alexa.”
“She says don’t do it, she says it will be harder for when your modeling career takes off. Okay, so kind of stop where you are at. Okay, she’s says there’s only a certain amount of photo shopping that can be done.”
“Thank you grandma!” We all laugh together.
“Okay, she’s stepping back, but she’s asking… Do you have like a flower tattoo or something? Okay, she says it’s super cute.”
“Okay, do you have any questions that you’d like to ask before our session ends?”
“Does my dad know about the book I’m writing?”
“He just said Chapter 3. Chapter 3 is where it really starts. He says it’s all in the mystery. That’s what he said; it’s all in the mystery. Wait a minute; what are you trying to tell me here my friend? Mafia? I don’t know what you mean by that. Okay, is there like a Mafia reference or something?”
“That is so funny, yeah, there is a little bit of a mafia reference in the book.”
Oh funny okay, that’s so interesting. He keeps going like this… (Apryl shows me the Okay sign with her fingers).
“Yay, he likes that.”
“He’s saying all good. He says you can embellish a little bit more - it’s okay. Apryl laughs.
“Okay ladies your loved ones are stepping back from me at this point, but your dad says he wants you to keep listening for the taps in the wall.”
At this point our session ended as quickly as it started. I didn’t’ feel sad, instead I left a sense of calm and peace. I wasn’t upset or elated, just relaxed and happy to have made such a great connection with my loved ones who I miss dearly. Everything Apryl shared with us was true and authentic and I felt truly blessed to have her help us make the connection to our loved ones – thank you Apryl.
What I want to leave you with is the hope that you too can make connections with those who have already passed on from this earthly plane. That if you take the time to notice the small breadcrumbs that your guides, mentors, pinnacles, and loved ones leave for you on a daily basis, you will start to see the wonder and beauty of the synchronicity that this life has in store for us all.
Now be the light that shines the brightest~
Kathie~
